Fraternities

After reading the disucssion called "Should Colleges Ban Fraternities?" on the opinion pages of The New York Times, I was a little offended. I am a member of a sorority and the majority of my guy friends are in fraternities on the SMU campus. Although they are somewhat looked down upon by outsiders, I think fraternities are necessary.

Within the first month of school, I already had established a very close-knit group of friends, four of which were boys. Even though I loved them all like brothers, they were so immature. Taking them out to restaurants for group dinners was embarassing. They were constantly asking for help to put their laundry away or how to work the washing machines. They couldnt even put sheets on their beds.

However, after they joined a fraternity all of that changed. I think having a group of older guys who are very similar to themselves giving them guidance on everything from how to live in a dorm, how to study and how to act like men really helped them to mature. It was a noticable difference. They went from acting like destructive toddlers to southern gentelman.

I understand the arguments against Greek Life but if college campuses were to rid themselves of it, I think they would be doing more damage than help.

Stop This Train

I decided to write this blog post in the midst of packing up my dorm room on 3rd floor Boaz. For some reason my iTunes library knew I was moving out and, while on shuffle, decided to play all songs that had to do with growing up which in turn made me very sentimental. The song that especially got me to start thinking was Stop This Train by John Mayer, when he sings:

"Stop this train I want to get off and go home again

I can't take the speed it's moving in

I know I can't

But honestly won't someone stop this train"

He hit the nail on the head with that one. How weird is it that your life seems to slowly go by, anticipating the day you're an adult. However, when you turn 16 life seems like some one hit the fast forward button on your life. You go from your 8th grade graduation one day to moving out of your college dorm room the next, asking your self, "where has the time gone?" 

After making the easy decision to attend SMU (I only applied to two other schools as back up), I became apprehensive yet excited for the unknown life that soon lay ahead of me. Although I was only moving 4.5 miles away, I knew college in general would be a different world. AARO quickly came and went. However, I met two of my best friends and sorority sisters in AARO Group 6. Next thing you know I had said goodbye to my high-school friends and was angrily, against my will, riding the bus to Mustang Corral. After surviving the overwhelming amount of ice breakers, I finally settled into my room anxiously wondering how this next year would go in this nicely decorated jail cell. My neighbors were all people I didn’t know and there were boys walking down the hallway when you got out of the shower. How was this ever going to feel like home?? 

But in the blink of an eye, I found my best friends right down the hall. Awkward hallway encounters turned into familiar hellos'. And before I knew it the people I was living with quickly became my new family and Boaz Hall became my new home. From countless parties to random nights out; late night study sessions to late night food runs- this year has succeeded my expectations further than I can imagine. 

As the months rolled by it never occurred to me that this would end. And now here I am packing up my dorm room, ending my first year of college. As I take the pictures from this year off my bulletin board, I smile a bittersweet smile and think of the quote from Grey's Anatomy said by Meredith Grey, "when did we become adults and how do we make it stop?"

The Uncivil Spring-Breakers

The beautiful emerald water was calm, washing up onto the white sandy shore. The salty sea breeze mixed with sunscreen was the aroma that filled my nose. I sat in my beach chair observing this beautiful scenery while the sun beat down on my half burnt skin. Nothing could be better! It was the last night on the beach, a great way to end spring break ’11 and a great trip it had been indeed.

I had just finished selecting the perfect song on my iPod when I see a family approaching our spot. We were sitting pretty close to the water so I figured they would just walk on by to the vacant spot not too far from ours. I closed my eyes preparing to enter total relaxation mode when I heard some commotion. My eyes fluttered open to find the family, consisting of mom, dad, and three young children, setting up camp directly in front of us. It would be one thing if they just brought their towels and decided to lie down but this family had the entire outdoor aisle from Target with them. Each child, like both parents, carried a large heavy-duty beach chair equipped with pockets, zippers and other various compartments. However, the parents carried many beach bags filled with many beach toys. Oh, and who could ever forget the tent! Slightly irritated I tried to ignore my obstructed view of the ocean and focused on my iPod. But just when things couldn’t get any worse the dad brings out a stereo system and starts bumping to his own jams, cranking up the volume as loud as it could go. As if their kids weren’t already screaming loud enough!

I was infuriated since you would think they would notice us sitting directly behind them. As I sat there trying to take deep breaths I immediately thought of English class and how uncivil this whole scene was. It was such a great example of incivility that I actually started to laugh and proceeded to take a picture. Granted, we were a group of college students on spring break so I cant say we didn’t cause some late night disruptions of our own however, during the day and around families we were very well behaved. This family’s absolute unawareness of the presence of any one else was almost impressive. It was so impressive that I almost wanted to give them my copy of Forni. 

From 21 to 18

Alcohol is an issue that our country has to deal with on multiple levels including things like driving under the influence, binge drinking and underage drinking. Underage drinking causes a plethora of problems all on its own however, there is a controversy gaining momentum in our country: lowering the drinking age.  The drinking age changed from 18 to 21 during the 80s and although the law meant to decrease harmful behavior critics are pointing out that it isn’t really working. 60 Minutes did a story on this topic that included the opinions of John McCardell, former president of Middlebury College, as well as the chief of police in Boulder, CO, Mark Beckner, and Chuck Hurley who is the executive director of Mothers Against Drunk Driving. McCardell told 60 Minutes that “this law has been an abysmal failure” and I’m going to have to agree.

            I find it hard to believe that an adolescence can go to war and kill another, vote for the leader of this country, and participate in a jury however they can’t order a beer at a bar. Another problem with the 21 drinking age is that it has caused young people to drink underground which in turn creates things like binge drinking, pre-parties and frightens young people from calling for help in a deadly situation. Gordie Bailey, a student at UC Boulder, died from a night of binge drinking. His parents believe that if the drinking age were 18 his fraternity brothers would have had no problem calling for help and he would still be alive. Chief Beckner told 60 minutes about how they have had numerous crackdowns but have realized they aren’t being effective. He tells 60 Minutes the advantage to lowering the drinking age is that “we're not trying to enforce a law that's unenforceable. The abuse of alcohol and the over-consumption of alcohol and DUI driving. Those are the areas we've gotta focus our efforts. Not on chasing kids around trying to give 'em a ticket for having a cup of beer in their hand."

Although the number of traffic fatalities due to drinking has decreased since the increase of the drinking age, the number of fatalities due to drinking is increasing very rapidly. If the drinking age was changed to 18, college age drinking would no longer have to be underground which would result in less binge drinking at pre-parties and fewer alcohol related deaths.

Toddlers and Technology

The other day as I was sitting at my computer doing homework, my phone started vibrating. The caller ID said it was my sister so I answered and said hello. However, instead of getting a response I heard the noises that are common in my sister's household. I started thinking that maybe it was a butt dial until I heard my two and half year old niece say "hello!” That’s when I realized she was probably playing with my sister's iPhone and called me. After I realized this conversation wasn't going anywhere I hung up the phone. This isn’t the only time this has happened and as a loving aunt I definitely do not mind the accidental phone calls it just boggles my mind that a toddler knows the basic operation of a cell phone. 

I am sure my sisters felt the same way about me. Due to the fact that they are 12 and 13 years older than I, they remember getting their first microwave, which is something I feel like I’ve always known how to use. They also didn’t get their first cell phones until they were in college while I got mine in 7th grade.

As technology continues to evolve it is becoming the norm for every day activities especially with children. Instead of playing outside kids are playing video games. Instead of learning to read with books children now know how to use all of the Leap Frog Learning toys. The age at which children receive their first cell phone or laptop is decreasing. The question of whether this is a good or bad development is up for debate it just shocks me whenever I see a 7 year old with their very own iPhone 4. 

Sorry Forni, we don't Live in Pleasantville

I grew up in a family where "yes mam" and "no sir" were automatic, holding the door for others was always expected and my dad would hit my hand with a spoon if my fingers touched my food. Manners are and have always been second nature to me. I agree with Forni, Carter, and all other civility activists that manners are important and necessary in society today. 

However, I think there is a line between being polite and being artificial. It is a blurry line but one that I have just begun to notice through our readings from Forni and Carter that have made me question the authenticity of my “polite” behavior.

Hypothetically speaking, you are happily driving down Central Expressway in the center lane. In your rear view mirror you notice a speeding car that is weaving in and out of traffic. The car comes up your left side and quickly moves over into your lane without using their blinker. Thankfully you hit the breaks in time otherwise this car would have clipped the front of your car and sent you straight into the right line with oncoming traffic. 

Would it really be uncivil to honk and flip the driver the finger? Or would you consider the civility movement and think, “even though that driver could have potentially just killed me, I am going to smile and wave as I drive past him because that would be the civil thing to do”.

The reason why I think people enjoy talk show hosts like Glen Beck or even Simon Cowel is because it is refreshing to hear the truth every now and then. We don’t live in Pleasantville. We live in a world where people are going to talk too loud at restaurants and be short with the Starbucks guy because you just got laid off. 

Forni says that people are lacking self-restraint these days but sometimes you shouldn’t have to restrain yourself from being honest. When answering a question, I have found myself asking, “do I tell the truth or should I be polite?” even though we are always supposed to tell the truth.

I am not saying that I am not guilty of this behavior. I tell my friend that the dress looks great on her. I tell my mom that I love every single one of my Christmas presents (even the ugly sweater). After he asks me how I am doing, I ask the mailman the same question even if I don’t care. I even compliment an acquaintance on her shoes even though they don’t match and I don’t like them. Should I only say things I mean or should I practice civility?

 I have come to the ironic and humorous realization that acting civil is almost synonymous with acting fake. However, I do believe that everyone should act with respect, compassion and selflessness towards others. If only we lived in a world where it was genuine rather than artificial.